This is part two of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction, as well as “On making the drow less problematic.”
- Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
- The law of “don’t get caught” (you are here)
- The ultimate in “guess” culture
- Chosen ones
- Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
- Sexual orientation
- Gender identity and trans-ness
- Yes, heat vision
- Drow language
- Consent in the matriarchy
- No one is born knowing their society is fucked
- Drow cuisine
- Etc etc
The law of “don’t get caught”
On the face of it, there are all kinds of laws in Menzoberranzan. I mentioned the Way of Lolth in my original post. And for most of those laws, the punishment for breaking them is death.
But truly, the only law is, “don’t get caught.”
Or at least: “don’t be caught while male.”
In canon, we see it mostly in regard to house warfare. Indeed, Homeland, the first Drizzt novel, starts with one house wiping out another.
It’s definitely illegal to attack other noble houses. But if you manage to wipe out everyone who would accuse you of the crime? Well, good job; you will be rewarded; your house will take their place, moving up the ladder of the nobility.
But more interestingly: the house you defeated will be treated as if it never existed. Mentioning it directly is no longer allowed. (Of course, as you’ll see in the next post, drow never speak about anything directly).
The law of “don’t get caught” doesn’t just excuse crime — it can erase all memory of it.
If you fail to eliminate the entire house, though? Well, then, your house gets taken down by all the other noble houses. Oops. Guess you shouldn’t have gotten caught.
All of this is canon, so far. But I think this applies to everything that could possibly be seen as a misdeed in Menzoberranzan — and that the severity of the punishment, if you’re discovered, depends on your status in the toxic matriarchy.
In the chapter “El’lar” of Bright Future, I apply this specifically to monogamy. (I have joked that in contrast to polyamory as “ethical non-monogamy,” drow have “non-ethical non-monogamy”). I think Mavash and Jorlan’s conversation explains this better than I could in essay form:
“Though it seems like surfacers place a great deal more importance on… monogamy? Is that the word? Than the drow do.”
“Fidelity not their strong point?”
Adding flourishes to his drawing, he considered how to explain it to her. “That would require putting more words to it than we actually do. The proverb — in many things, not just in coupling — is Jalbol velkyn zhah naubol. ‘Anything hidden is nothing.’ “
…
He relented first, diving back in for an explanation she would understand. “In practice, it means you may take as many lovers as you can get away with. It is only a problem if you are found out. And if you are found out, the punishment depends greatly on your gender and your status. It’s much more dangerous, as in all things, to be male and be too… generous with your affections.” He smiled at his final choice of words, satisfyingly vague.
Bright Future, chapter 13, El’lar
(Also I came up with that drow proverb and I’m rather proud of it. It expresses “don’t get caught” beautifully within the sorry Drow conlang we have).
Jorlan, in fact, has done quite a few things that would get him executed, or worse (it can always get worse in Menzoberranzan™️), if he was caught. They’re not completely secret, either. So maybe the better formulation is “don’t get caught by someone who matters.” As in this section, where Jarlaxle explains it all:
“Again, I refer you to your assassin friend and his clever set-up.” When that was met with blank stares, [Jarlaxle] made a gesture in Jorlan’s direction. “Or, as he’s known in Menzoberranzan, ‘The Widower.’” Jarlaxle made a smile that showed his teeth, pleased at this tidbit of information.
Jorlan bared his own teeth back.
…
Jarlaxle turned to Mavash, a guileless look plastered on his face. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, dear Mavash, but your lover has rather the reputation for… Hm. Let’s say many of his past lovers have turned up dead under suspicious circumstances? And it’s happened enough times that he’s gained a certain reputation, and a title to go with it — allegedly, of course; nothing can be proven.”
“Uh oh, Mavash,” Gaulir said, a gentle prod.
Jarlaxle tipped a hand towards Mavash. “But you know, of course, of the case of Ilvara Mizzrym.”
“That was all this lot’s doing.” Jorlan waved to encompass the group. “We ambushed them in the Upperdark. I certainly thought Ilvara’s victory was assured. And when it wasn’t…” He shrugged. “It wasn’t something I caused, but certainly, you of all people can’t blame me for making the best of the situation.”
“And did you really execute that ambush to the best of your abilities, Captain Duskryn? Nothing else you could have done to save your mistress or your lieutenants? The same ones who had already wronged you?”
Jorlan, staring down Jarlaxle, said only, “It was a consequence of the drow way of life. As were the other unfortunate deaths.”
“Oh, I think no one is mourning Aumaurae Tlabbar’s death, either, fear not,” Jarlaxle murmured.
Bright Future, chapter 31, “Ragar”
I mean, clearly Jarlaxle (possibly my favorite canon character; thanks, DM, for putting him in here ❤️) knows Jorlan’s history here (it’s safest to assume he knows everything, after all). But he’s not inclined to tell on Jorlan to anyone in power. And even if he did tell… publicly, he’s just the houseless male leader of a mercenary band. Who’s going to listen to him?
… which is futher complicated, given Jarlaxle’s real birthright (spoiler: he’s super secretly a Baenre, aka the most important House in the city). But if he wanted his family to act on this, he’d probably have to come up with a more public reason that his family knows about this, so as not to reveal his identity.
… so mostly I think he does this so that Jorlan owes him a favor, and so that Jorlan knows he owes a favor. As I know from my drow intrigue game — where we sigh every time we realize we have to deal with Jarlaxle — it’s very easy to end up owing him a lot of favors.
We don’t actually learn more about the “Aumaurae Tlabbar” situation within Bright Future — maybe in a sequel? — but I imagine it as a case where Jorlan was put in an impossible situation (which involved Bregan D’aerthe) and ended up on the hook for the deaths of not one, but two, of his lovers. So there’s also the factor here that Jarlaxle doesn’t want to implicate himself.
Isn’t this delightfully complicated, this dance? This intrigue is one of the things that makes the drow so interesting to me. I didn’t even have to go too far afield in my headcanoneering!
I’m switching around the order a bit. Next will be my discussion of “guess culture.” It seemed a better follow-up than what I had planned to discuss. Suffice it to say — this 👆overcomplicated dancing around the truth is so emblematic of the drow.
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