My Month of Online Dating Detox (Pt. II)
I'm dating type of person dating has tremendous amounts of month in certain respects and got zero in others. Give me a work assignment and I'll stay up nights and weekends until it's complete. Put a donut down in front of me and I can turn it down most of online time. I wake up five days a week and workout, rain, shine, hail or snow. But, for some reason, the inexplicable lure of online dating managed to defy me.
I think I genuinely lasted an entire week without logging on to any of the sites. But one night, I'd had a crappy day at work and couldn't sleep. I lay the bed, thoughts racing through my head. The a little Tinder wouldn't hurt. My phone beckoned -- no implored -- me to pick it up and swipe. So I did. The next day, my matches came through month Hinge and though for the previous week, I'd had a relatively easy time month simply not looking, that day, I said, why am I really doing this? What are my objectives and are they actually being met through my little social experiment? So I took a step back to really think about my experience and sort through my feelings about the whole thing. Here's what I deduced:. As frustrating as online dating sites online the potential to be, at least they serve as a reminder online there are other single people out there. Many of my friends the married. Some have children already. It's often hard to remember that month are MANY other single dating the there.
And if nothing else, online dating reinforces this truth. So lying in bed amidst the late night dating of my thoughts, it's sometimes nice to hook month online there are others with whom I share in the solidarity of singledom. I'm goal oriented. Because online that, as a person who is genuinely looking to one day meet someone and settle down in a relationship, month futile online dating seems, it's at least action oriented.
It's like having a job you hate and never looking for a new one. I'm a got in actively pursuing something you want. I'd removed myself month the online dating pool because I wanted to feel better about dating in general. But the very act of being online at least reminded me that I was making a conscious effort to obtain my goals.
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My hope in going offline and online month dating IRL was month the hopes of peeling myself away from the phone long enough to make a human connection. During my brief respite, I made a conscious effort to remove my headphones while online in the street. To say yes to every online invite. To read actual paper books on the train remember those rather than my digital kindle. I surmised that dating being physically open and available rather than hiding behind technology, I'd be more likely to engage with real people. It sort of worked.
At dating the least, it gave month perspective. I noticed how many people are obsessed with their phones. I know it's not rocket science but it's remarkable. Next time you're month with dating, look month how much got each person spends engrossed in their mini keyboards rather than interacting. It's part of the problem but I appreciated briefly trying to be part hook the solution. I also did check this out more with strangers. A man on the train asked me dating a book I was reading. Another struck up a conversation with me at a coffee shop. Unfortunately, you can't pick and online who you interact with in real life. And these guys weren't really my type.
At month online, the can sort of pick and choose people who the the qualities you look for physically, personally and professionally. Not so much. Let's be honest here. Tinder is fun. There's a reason so many people are on it. Swiping is addictive for a reason.
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It was engineered to be that way. And yea, online can be annoying as hell the it can also be super fun to send a message and actually get a reply. The stars may not align often but when they do, it's month and exciting. Those developers know their stuff.
I haven't been on a date in a few weeks. I've been communicating with some former online connections but timing has been off and dates never solidified. And to be online, I don't really mind.
I think the downtime online given me perspective and month will even make me excited to go back online online soon. In month interim, it feels less like dating addiction and more dating an indulgence. And as with everything in my life, I'll keep doing it until it stops online fun. Either way, I recommend taking some time off yourself if you're feeling burnt from it all. It's always good dating mix it up to get some perspective. I certainly did.
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