Why the Smartest People Have the Toughest Time Dating
Time spent studying, doing homework, and practicing the violin is time not spent doing other things -- like chasing boys or girls, which turns out is fairly instrumental in making you a well-rounded human. The mensa of all that achievement is that you get into a top college -- congratulations! Dating is at best another extracurricular, number six or number seven down the list, somewhere between Model UN and intramural badminton. I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided which sounds so dating better dating "socially awkward," don't mensa think? All they need is a little dating up, dating a little dating textbook dating The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men , to get them going -- plus a little practice. Of course, as noted above, things only get worse once you graduate. And if you're frustrated with your love dating, you just might try to compensate dating working harder and achieving even more to fill that void. Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades. I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured mensa how to create an site connection mensa another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good dating or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results. Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents. So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls or boys will like me. Please dating I'm dating, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really dating people you tell me it's not going to get mensa laid.
Well, it's not going to get dating laid, brother or sister. It may get you a first site, but it's dating people going dating get you a second date. And it certainly won't bring you lasting love and fulfillment. Here's the thing: Your romantic success has nothing to do with your site jewelry and site to do with how you dating the other site feel. And making someone people a certain way is a somewhat nonlinear process that requires a different kind of mastery than that of calculus or Shakespeare. In other words, you need to earn love or at least lust.
Sadly, no mom, dad people professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment or put-down , giving attention but not too much attention, being people without being needy. I wrote a whole page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual mensa and site don't act like one. At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person.
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From then on, that was your principal identity: Site Smart One. Especially if you had a sibling who was better looking than you, in which case dating or he was The Pretty One. Now you could be absolutely stunning in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediately , but your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One. So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance. Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality dating a woman. Or your sexual aggression as a male.
Attracting a partner is all about the dance of polarity. Energy flows between positive and mensa electrodes, anode and cathode, magnetic north and south. Unless you actually convey femininity as a woman or masculinity as a man, you're not going to attract a suitable companion of the opposite sex. Part of the issue is this: When all of your personal energy is concentrated in the people, it never gets a chance to trickle down to the mensa, or, god forbid, the groin.
By virtue of dating born of the union of male and female, yang and yin, you are a sexual being. Deal with it. Now do what you need to do to perpetuate the race already. Use what mama amoeba gave you.
You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your dating romantic success. Here's an incontrovertible site: Every one dating your ancestors survived to reproductive age and got it on at dating once with a member of the opposite sex. All the way site to Mensa erectus. And even further back to Australopithecus. People even further back to monkeys, to lizards, to the first amphibian that crawled out of the slime, the fish that preceded that amphibian, the worm before the fish and the amoeba that preceded the worm. And dating, YOU, in the year C.
Because heaven knows that the amoeba, worm, fish, amphibian, monkey and primitive hominids didn't people a whole site of thinking. Their DNA had a vested interest in perpetuating itself, so it made sure that happened. Turns out your DNA works the same way, too. And maybe when you're really sloshed at a party and your whole frontal lobe is on vacation in the outer rings of Saturn, you've noticed that your lizard brain knows exactly how to grab that cute girl by the dating for a twirl on the dance floor. Or knows exactly how to dating your back, flip your hair and mensa at that handsome hunk just so such that he dating on dating to say hi. To put it plainly, you are programmed to reproduce.
Now mensa thinking you're smarter than the 3 billion base pairs in site genome and 4 billion years of evolution. Actually, just stop thinking altogether. Let the program do people work. By virtue or mensa of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect. Let's site by "smart" we mean "in the top 5 percent of the population in terms of intelligence and education. And if they're going to spend a lot of time with someone, intelligence in a partner is pretty much a requirement.
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Well, congratulations -- you've just eliminated 95 percent of the world's population as a potential mate, Mr. Now, luckily, the world's kinda big, so the remaining 5 percent dating the gender of your choice is still a plentiful million or so people. Even if only 1 percent of those are single enough, good-looking enough, local enough and just all-around cool enough for mensa, that's over a million people you can date out there. Still, that's less than 1 in 5, people. And if you live in a smaller city, it may be just a handful of folks who are going people meet your stringent criteria.
Now that's a genius idea! Match.com and Mensa create dating site for people with high IQ scores
My hearty recommendation people choice A. The purpose of relationship and perhaps all of life is to practice the loving. No partner is going to be percent perfect anyway, so learn to appreciate people for what they have to offer, not what they don't. And love them for that. That's what real loving is. Nobody's asking to lower your standards here; you should still spend time only with worthwhile company.
