Drow headcanon, part 12: drow cuisine

This is part twelve of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

Additional note: currently I have limited arm movement due to an injury. Thankfully I wrote a lot of these ahead of time. Please excuse any textual infelicities that may result.

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine (you are here)
  13. Etc etc

Weird: it’s what’s for dinner

Of all the aspects of my drow headcanoneering, drow cuisine is the one I have the most fun with. I have spent entirely too long imagining what kinds of foods the drow would have access to, living in a lightless underground world with a very different ecology than ours.

In fact, in my abbreviated Waterdeep: Dragon Heist campaign, I played Jhevaeth, a drow chef (and, you know, arcane trickster rogue, too). This culminated in my creating an entire menu for Taste of the Underdark, his restaurant in Dock Ward. It includes riding lizard balut, fire lichen paste, and bar snacks of fried centipedes… and a lot of butchered English Common.

To sum up the themes here:

  • Mushrooms — nobody is surprised. And canon has seen fit to provide us with many different Underdark mushrooms, including trillimac, dragon’s egg, ripplebark, nightlight, zurkhwood, and many more.
  • Lichens. Which implies some algae, as well. (I believe “fire lichen” is canonical, too).
  • Real- world cave or dwelling insects, eg. crickets, centipedes. No spiders, of course, because drow revere them. (Which, surprisingly, is not canonical? See the Ed Greenwood video at the end of the post).
  • Other real-world wild cave/underground critters, eg. blind cavefish, snails, fairy shrimp.
  • Fantasy cave/underground critters: eg. hook horrors, rocktopus.
  • Some domesticated livestock, too — rothé (Underdark cow-like cattle) and riding lizards. Also cheese made from rothé milk!
  • “Crock foods” — things that require (long) periods of sitting in containers, eg. the faerzress-infused duck egg, based off the Chinese “century egg.” Because when you live for 800 years, what’s a year or two among friends?
  • Embryonic creatures. I’m not sure I have a good canonical reason for this, except that (as I mention below) it fits in the general theme of “weird.” But maybe I chose it because the drow don’t strike me as being squeamish about eating something that looks like a baby lizard.
  • Not much sugar. I get into this in detail below.
  • Spice. If you don’t have much sugar (and you definitely don’t have “everything nice” 🤣), then you have to have spice, right?

Does some of that sound “weird” and “gross” to you? Well, that’s kind of by design. As I mentioned in my original post, the alienness of the drow is what I find so fascinating. So I wanted to pick foods that not only reflected the circumstances in which the drow live, but which also sounded alien to a (Western) palate.

(I also took some inspiration (again!) from the Dunmer of The Elder Scrolls, who have foods such as scuttle, a cheese-like substance made from insects).

But, let us remember, none of the foods on this menu are truly “weird” or alien — they’re reflective of many different real-world cuisines. Caviar is Russian, escargot is French, balut (embryonic chicken or duck egg) is Filipino, and the century egg is Chinese. Noodles are found in many different cultures, and spice is appreciated in many. Many cultures also eat insects.

Ultimately, as I said, drow are ruthlessly practical, and so are their food choices.

Candy is dandy

One conclusion I came to early in my drow cuisine headcanoneering: sweets are quite rare in the Underdark. This is because sugar is mostly a product of photosynthesis. (Wooo splitting hydrogen bonds with the power of light!)

It’s not entirely nonexistent, though — I can see a few different sources of sugar that might occur naturally in the Underdark:

  • At least in the real world, mushrooms do contain small amounts of sugars (I talk about the exact quantity in the next section).
  • One assumes the aforementioned rothé milk contains lactose. (Probably not in as great a quantity as IRL, since there would be less in the food they consume).
  • Some fungi produce what is called “guttation,” a watery substance that appears spontaneously on their surface. That guttation can contain small amounts of sugar, as well as some secondary metabolites. (In fact, penicillin is the guttation of of Penicillium mold!

However, the sugar content in all of these options is so low that you’d need to start with massive quantities of the substance and condense it down — similar to how maple syrup is made IRL, where ~40 gallons of maple sap is required to produce a gallon of syrup.

But there’s an easier way for the drow to acquire sugar — to steal it from the surface:

“Where does one get sugar in the Underdark?” Gaulir asked, asking the question that was already on Mavash’s mind. “Doesn’t it mostly come from surface things? Honey from bees, sugar beets, sugar cane down in Calimshan… what am I forgetting?”

Jorlan dropped his eyes to his plate, looking apologetic. “Surface raids, I’m afraid. And then, well, anything can grow under a Daylight spell. I’ve had orders before to tear up fields of… what do you call them? Dark green leaves, red roots?”

Gaulir nodded. “Sounds like sugar beets to me.”

Bright Future, chapter “Jhinrae”

Either way, sugar is definitely a luxury good, probably limited to the nobility. It’s probably the kind of thing you serve when you want to impress someone at a banquet. Before murdering them, of course.

But liquor is quicker

Given the relative lack of sugar, what about alcohol? The Drow conlang gives us the word “jhinrae,” which means “wine.” But… how do you ferment anything without sugar?

Hooboy. I went down a rabbit hole here.

As I suggested above, mushrooms aren’t a great source of sugar. There are only about 1.1g of sugar per cup (250g) of mushrooms, or 0.4% of the total mass. It requires ~17 grams per liter to produce 1% alcohol. So if you wanted to produce a liter (~3.7 gallons) of 10% alcohol — the alcohol level of a typical white wine — you’d need about 187 cups of mushrooms.

… that’s a lot of mushrooms.

Now, that’s for yeast fermentation. Lactobacillus (bacteria) fermentation is easier — and is indeed used to ferment mushrooms in some cuisines! But lacto fermentation produces more lactate (lactic acid) than it does alcohol. This is why lacto fermented foods like yogurt or kimchi are sour, and also why kombucha only has 1-2% alcohol content.

I did find a recipe online for mushroom wine! But it adds buttload of sugar — 2 cups of cane sugar per cup of mushrooms. It’s less mushroom wine and more “wine with notes of mushroom” at that point. (Still, I gotta try making it!)

Also, I doubt you can just buy packaged yeast (or lactobacillus) in the Underdark🤣 Sure, the drow could collect yeast/bacteria in the wild and refine it. But in the real world that was a rather recent development; we used wild yeast and bacteria for fermentation long before that, i.e. “leave fruit outside and watch the magic happen.” This depended on what yeast/bacteria existed already on the fruits/grains or in the environment.

Wild fermentation is quite unpredictable — leading to spoiled or sometimes even explosive results! — which is why we mostly don’t do it any more. (Even sour beers, which were originally wild-fermented, are mostly kettle soured these days by adding lactobacillus in a controlled environment). Wild fermentation thus seems fitting for any culture in a low-tech high fantasy setting — especially one as focused on chaos as the drow!

So as a conclusion to Entirely Too Much Research into fermentation, I think “jhinrae” is lots of luxury sugar + wild yeast/bacteria fermentation.

I think the most apt way to close this post is with this video from Ed Greenwood about drow foods. I was surprised the extent to which his ideas aligned with mine — how’s that for canon support for my wild imagineering? 😆


Next time: my “etc etc” post, which will contain a bunch of different one-off things I’ve invented (or borrowed from fanon) for the drow.

Drow headcanon, part 11: No one is born knowing their society is fucked

This is part eleven of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

Additional note: currently I have limited arm movement due to an injury. Thankfully I wrote a lot of these ahead of time. Please excuse any textual infelicities that may result.

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked (you are here)
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

This has always bothered me about the Drizzt novels — there is zero explanation for why he, or his father Zaknafein, know how bad their society is and want to escape it. Drizzt is always a cinnamon roll, even from his earliest days, and we learn in the Generations trilogy that Zaknafein hated priestesses long before he ever met Malice, for some reason that is never explored.

Basically we’re only seeing the author’s (and our own) outside view that “hey murder and xenophobia and misandry and abuse is bad,” not the inside view from the drow.

Look, no one is born knowing they have it unusually bad. Look at generational abuse situations. Look at cult deprogramming situations. If you have no point of comparison, then all that bad behavior is just Tuesday for you.

And the situation of the drow makes that even more likely to be true. One, they are incredibly isolated from other races. They seem themselves as superior to every other race, and, in fact, lucky that they are not them. They think themselves the masters of the Underdark. And they have official, state-sponsored propaganda reinforcing that, which all (noble?) young adults go through as part of their education.

When we meet Jorlan in Bright Future, he’s already somewhat disillusioned with drow society — but it took some two hundred years for him to get there.

Not only due to the canonical lead-up to Out of the Abyss (where he helps the PCs at first because he’s been spurned by his lover), but also because of other backstory I gave him:

A thoughtful pause, more splashing. “Do you not get tired of this?”

“Of baths?”

“Of being looked down upon.”

“Mmm.” That was a more difficult question. His initial response was Of course. Looking back on his life from this perspective, he was infuriated by all the things that were denied him because of his gender. But at the time? “If it’s all you’ve ever known, it’s very hard to imagine that things can be any other way. Would you miss sight if you were born blind?”

“I suppose not.”

“It wasn’t until I was stationed in drow-occupied Blingdenstone that I started to understand that other races didn’t live like that.” His mouth twisted into a sour expression. “My matron mother would say that was when I grew… headstrong.”

Bright Future, chapter 15, “Siltrin.”

(Also I decided he learned Common by reading romance novels that he confiscated from the prisoners under his charge, so that probably helped, too 🤣)

This is also why, I like to think, Jorlan bears a (mostly performative) grudge towards Drizzt, when the topic of him comes up. Jorlan bought into the chaotic drow lifestyle for a long time, so he really just doesn’t understand someone who never did, and moreover, survived the Academy with his soul mostly intact. It’s like being envious of someone who grew up with healthy family relationships.

Come to think of it… all of Bright Future is about Jorlan unlearning the painful lessons of drow society, including those of “all trust is foolish” and “do as you are ordered and live,” to quote two common drow sayings.

Anyway. I wish canon had done more to tell us why these characters are so atypical for the society they were raised in. They didn’t just wake up with an ethical conscious — and in fact every factor was against that happening! So why?


And while I ended this to be the last single-topic post, I realized that I had many words to say about drow cuisine — too much to include in my final “etc etc” post. So next time: drow cuisine!

Drow headcanon, part 10: consent in the matriarchy

This is part ten of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

Additional note: currently I have limited arm movement due to an injury. Thankfully I wrote a lot of these ahead of time. Please excuse any textual infelicities that may result.

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy (you are here)
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Consent in the matriarchy

This is a dark topic, so CW for this section: discussion of coerced consent, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.

For drow males in a toxic matriarchy, what is sexual consent? Does it exist in any meaningful sense, if they don’t have the freedom to say no — if saying no is likely to end with their death, or worse? (Menzoberranzan: It Can Always Get Worse™️).

(Again we are assuming binary gender, because that is the world the drow live in).

I would argue: for the most part, no, it does not. And this is treated too lightly in the source material.

We see this again and again in the Drizzt novels — which, let us not forget, are presented as the life story of the most famous drow in Faerûn. In Homeland — book fucking one of the almost 40-book series — we see Drizzt being, let us say, “highly encouraged” to participate in a demonic (and potentially incestuous) orgy. (Yep, that presents itself again!)

Sure, that was published in… 1990? But it doesn’t get any better in newer books, either. (In fact it gets worse, imho). Timeless (published in 2018) includes the backstory of Zaknafein, Drizzt’s father, and how he was sold into a clearly abusive and non-consensual relationship with Malice, Drizzt’s mother.

This situation might be interesting to explore from the lens of our own patriarchal society. After all, it’s a more black-and-white version of the (questionably feminist) philosopher Andrea Dworkin’s* assertion that consent does not exist in our modern patriarchy, since it saying no so often ends in violence. And I do enjoy the cultural comparison, as well as exploring the idea of a culture that has a very different view of consent than we do.

* yes, yes, I know, she’s uh… problematic.

But the text presents it as a cheeky “oh lol those horny drow women, what’re ya gonna do?” more often than it’s presented as “this person is in an abusive and rape-y relationship.” It also doesn’t acknowledge that just because the victim can… perform, and derive pleasure from it, doesn’t mean it isn’t rape.

You could argue that maybe Salvatore is just doing what a fantasy author should do, giving the inside POV on the drow, which is that coerced sex is totally normal, eg. “it happens; just go along with it, and if you’re lucky, you’ll enjoy it, too.”

But… that isn’t what it feels like.

I personally believe the reader should be part of this conversation, in a “we know this is wrong and we know the author knows it’s wrong but the characters think it’s normal” way.

And that is not evident. Maybe it’s because RAS’ third person POV is so distant; we’re rarely actually inside the character’s head. Either way, it comes across as the author not understanding that a boner is not consent.

(In fact, I spent most of Timeless yelling that at my ebook. When, of course, I wasn’t shouting “Jarlaxle, your boyfriends are fighting again!”)

(… this isn’t a rant about my dislike of Salvatore’s writing, I promise).

I show Fel’rekt thinking about this in “What Do You Hear In These Sounds,” when he joins Bregan D’aerthe and the first thing someone says to him is “lol Jarlaxle must just want to fuck you.”

What if I’m not interested in bedding the captain? Or anyone else? he asked himself. Even if he wanted to, any intimate encounter would have to be preceded by a dicey conversation, one that could potentially end with drawn blades. Is someone going to force himself on me?

Bregan D’aerthe was a place for the houseless, but it was still a house, was still in Menzoberranzan. Fel’rekt had to wonder if Jarlaxle, as its leader, took the liberties a Matron Mother would have taken.

“What Do You Hear In These Sounds,” chapter 2

Also, given the drow “guess” culture, I expect there is a lot of implied consent, i.e. silence as consent, rather than enthusiastic consent. Which happens in the real world, too, and is not ideal there, either.

One of the most intense conversations my beloved Jorlan and Mavash ever have revolves around this, after Mavash finds out that there’s sexual abuse in Jorlan’s past:

“If…” she began, and then restarted. “Look. I know where we stand with each other. And hearing what you just told me about your past, well. Whatever you want — what we might both want — I will need you to be the one to approach. To put it into words. Real words, not thoughts.” She turned on her side to face him, smiling a little sadly. “Because you won’t always have the luxury of being with someone with telepathy. Because silence is also not consent.”

Bright Future, chapter “Siltrin”

I also imagine there are a lot of situations where the character in question is — as the kids say — down to clown, but we the reader would say “this is an exploitative situation where they can’t consent.”

This is what happens to Kzandr in “A Prison Made of Chitin.” He’s clearly into his teacher’s seduction, but she’s also his teacher. Plus, there’s this double whammy of coercion:

Test me, Mistress, Kzandr wanted to say. You will not find me wanting.

But when he opened his mouth, he surprised himself by relating the story of how he had been a defiant child, and how he had been punished. The dream he had had, of Lolth’s embrace not as a prison, but a sanctuary.

There was a moment’s silence when he finished, and Kzandr feared he had shamed himself after all.

Mistress Kyrnill snapped her fingers, and he felt his head clear suddenly, as if he was waking from a dream — though he could not remember when the dream began.

It was a truth-seeking spell, naturally. She had to be sure he was earnest, that he was no heretic. She had tested him, and he had passed. His cheeks heated with a giddy pride.

A Prison Made of Chitin, chapter 1

… yeah, zone of truth makes everything worse.

Of course, as always, class interacts with this, as well as gender. The common and merchant classes are probably notably less abusive in this regard. But in noble society, where males are so often treated as trophies, it definitely happens, and is treated as normal.

In conclusion, this is why so many of my fics about drow end up with the “implied/referenced sexual assault” tag. I don’t want to treat it lightly, and I definitely don’t want to show the act itself “on-screen.” But it’s also unfair to ignore it. It can be a powerful tool as a storyteller — a source of conflict, that thing which is so crucial to stories — though with it comes an author’s responsibility to present it in a sensitive way.

… although, gotta be real, I also appreciate my sad drow males being sad.


Welp, that’s probably the darkest corner of my headcanon. If you’re read this far, go do something nice like pet a cat. You’ve earned it.

Next time we’ll discuss a big pet peeve I have with the Drizzt novels: no one is born knowing their society is fucked.

Drow headcanon, part 9: Drow language

This is part nine of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

Additional note: currently I have limited arm movement due to an injury. Thankfully I wrote a lot of these ahead of time. Please excuse any textual infelicities that may result.

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language (you are here)
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Drow, do you speak it, mf-er?

(NB: if I capitalize “Drow,” I mean the drow language, not the people).

Well, first of all, in some sense “Drow” as a language doesn’t exist in D&D 5e. In 5e, Drow was removed as a language PCs can learn. I understand why — it’s part of the simplification of mechanics I mentioned earlier — but it erases a ton of interesting worldbuilding.

And yet there remains a Drow conlang (constructed language).

The canon conlang is very limited. It was first presented to us (I think) by Ed Greenwood in the glossary of Drow of the Underdark 2e. As a nerdy and linguistically-inclined 15-year old, the glossary was my favorite part of the book, too — I spent hours poring over it. It is, if nothing else, a beautiful bit of worldbuilding.

The glossary has been expanded by fans — first in this very old PDF (which of course I have saved to my hard drive; whaddya mean that’s weird?) and secondly on the Chosen of Eilistraee site. The latter even has a “sentence translator” function, which I trust exactly as far as I trust Japanese counter words (i.e. not far at all), because language is more than just gluing words together. Either way, even with the expansions, the conlang is very limited in terms of what sort of sentences you can construct.

A linguist has never taken a look at Drow, and it shows.

As evident in this bit from the PDF:

The present progressive (“is -ing) form of the verb is a conjugation for tense (i.e. time), not for mood (i.e. relationship to the truth). And “tone in which the statement is made” is not a very good definition of “mood!”

Look, I’m not a linguist, either, but I consider language learning and linguistics to be one of my Special Interests™️. I have studied many real-world languages to varying degrees of competency. I lived in France for a year, and have looked at many a foreign language dictionary. I also took some linguistic anthropology classes in college.

And I can say for certain that the Drow word zhah (“is”), by itself, is not a word.

… I mean, in literal sense, yes, it is. But it’s only a single conjugation of the verb “to be.” If you look up the word “is” in an English-French dictionary, it will direct you to the verb “to be” (être) instead, because the conjugated form is always subordinate to the infinitive — the form of the verb that starts with “to” in English, eg. to be, to have, to run, etc.

And yet, despite its many official and fan iterations, we don’t have many (any?) Drow infinitives in this conlang. Without infinitives, we have no guidance on how to conjugate verbs. And by extension, we have no way to extrapolate novel verb forms, and we lose the ability to express many ideas.

Basically what I’m saying is the Drow conlang gives us words, but it doesn’t give us the rules to use and expand on those words.

And what is grammar but rules? You need grammar to create novel sentences. The ability to create novel sentences is, according to linguists, what makes a language a language.

I will say, the vocabulary we have from Drow is fantastic, in that it reflects the culture it came from. As I mentioned in an earlier post, there’s no equivalent word for “love” in Drow, because romantic (or even familial) love is poorly defined and rare in Lolthite drow society. “Ssinssrigg,” for “lust” or “sexual desire,” is the closest they get.

… yeah yeah the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis is problematic, language isn’t thought, but I think we can all agree that language influences thought or culture, and vice versa.

The adages/sayings from the canonical glossary is fantastic, too. I’d be hard pressed to pick a favorite, but I am fond of: Ulu z’hin maglust dal qu’ellar lueth valsharess zhah ulu z’hin wund lil phalar, or “To walk apart from House and Queen is to walk into the grave.” It expresses the deadliness of drow society, as well as the importance of both the house structure and one’s favor with Lolth.

So what does all this mean? When writing my drow-fancying fic, I do the best I can with what I have (and I definitely don’t use the Chosen of Eilistraee translator). Basically my conlang-ing involves lot of synonyms, compound words, and guessing.

… as well as BLATANTLY IGNORING everything I ever learned in my linguistic anthropology classes. 🤦‍♀️

And I think I do… all right? I mentioned in an earlier post that I’m proud of my own coining jalbol velkyn zhah naubol, “anything hidden is nothing,” i.e. don’t get caught.

Here’s another example from an in-progress work:

Of course, he let none of his worries show on his face. “Dosst Ilythiiri’s quarth alurin.Your command of Drow is improving.

“Heir to Ruin,” a forthcoming fic

Was the verb “to improve” in the existing conlang? Of course not. Nor would the existing conlang be likely to give me the present progressive conjugation (“improving”). So I used “(to) better” instead, even though it’s clear from the PDF that “better” is meant to be the adjective/adverb form. Also I ignored that it’s uncommon for the verb and adjective/adverb forms to be the same in a given language. (English is weird and irregular in that way).

To say nothing of the fact that this is conjugated per the dubious grammatical explanation of “is [-ing]” I posted an image of above…

tl;dr: the canonical (and fan-expanded) Drow language has words; it doesn’t have a proper grammar. And if I had my druthers, a degree in linguistics, and an abundance of time on my hands, I’d come up with a real grammar, drastically change how verbs work, and keep a lot of the cool nouns and adages.

Signs, signs, everywhere the signs

As I alluded to in my infravision post — drow also has a sign language, and this hand sign is said to be as expressive as the spoken language. This makes sense — drow have very keen hearing, and they’re often operating in underground places of total silence, where they need to communicate rapidly and accurately without alerting their enemies.

But this, too, has been removed entirely in 5e, and I’m not even sure if Salvatore mentions it in the novels any more.

So, in my drow headcanon, the sign language is still part and parcel of the language. If I’m running a game, Drow would be a separate language PCs can actually learn, and it would come bundled with the hand sign.

Also without hand sign, how can you have the “drow handcode is the Faerunian equivalent of sexting” tag on AO3? 🤣


We’ve had a few light topics in a row, so next time let’s dive back into Drow Being Awful™️, i.e. consent in the matriarchy.

Drow headcanon, part 8: infravision

This is part eight of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

Additional note: currently I only have use of one arm due to an injury. Thankfully I wrote a lot of these ahead of time. Please excuse any infelicities that may result.

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision (you are here)
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Yes, heat vision

In their original formulation, the drow had infravision, i.e. they saw into the infrared spectrum and saw heat as color.

In 5e, this complexity has been completely erased; the drow now have darkvision (same as all elves), and it is described thusly:

If you have Darkvision, you can see in Dim Light within a specified range as if it were Bright Light and in Darkness within that range as if it were Dim Light. You discern colors in that Darkness only as shades of gray.

D&D 5e Free Rules

This is the kind of mechanical simplification that keeps being made with newer editions of D&D. And I get it. You want it balanced and not disruptive. We’ve all heard the “chorus of ‘but I have darkvision'” jokes.

But from a lore standpoint, it’s disappointing.

(Though I’m not convinced this is actually balancing! Put a 5e Gloom Stalker ranger in the Underdark and their “always invisible in darkvision” becomes a superpower. We actually had to house-rule this in my drow intrigue game, where the DM said, “yeah, no, that’s too powerful. Infravision ≠ darkvision, therefore they can still be seen in infravision”).

One of the first things that ever caught my eye about the alien-ness of the drow is infravision. In Homeland, in the description of Do’Urden’s attack on House DeVir , the attackers used ice armor to make themselves invisible in infravision. How cool is that?

(And as we all learned in my post about why I love TES, I LIVE for cultures that are truly alien, and not just “fantasy [real-life culture]”)

I use it in my Fel’rekt fic to good effect, when he is trying to hide against a hot fireplace in a cold kitchen, and his speeding heartbeat betrays him.

The door closed behind [Jarlaxle’s] back with a clack. He indeed was in a kitchen, narrow and long. The light from the hallway’s time-sconces didn’t penetrate far, but in infravision he could see the heat of a cooling hearth at the back of the room.

Blending into it was a humanoid shape, their back to the fireplace. Nearly, but not quite — the figure was slightly warmer and brighter than the stones.

As if the hearth was cooling even while a nervous heartbeat sped out of its owner’s control.

“What Do You Hear In These Sounds,” chapter 1

So, my drow have infravision; their world of perpetual darkness is rendered in vibrant color.

This also ties in well with the drow sign language that is mentioned elsewhere in canon (and is also totally ignored in 5e mechanics). Imagine how complex that sign language can be when you can use the temperature of someone’s hands as cues:

He gave his own languid smile, continuing to trace the vein in her palm. “Your blood, branching into your hand like a vein of silver.”

“I’m amazed you can see that fine level of detail.”

“Now you know why we have an entire language of hand signs.”

Bright Future, chapter 15, “Siltrin.”

Next time, let’s talk about the drow language: or, why they desperately need a linguist to look this shit over.

Drow headcanon, part 7: gender identity and trans-ness

This is part seven of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness (you are here)
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Gender Identity and Trans-ness

(CW: transphobia)

In some sense, my headcanon about trans or nonbinary drow is similar to what I said about sexual orientation: “of course gender non-conforming drow exist.”

But I also feel I have to append “… but they’re gonna have a bad time.”

(Before I get started: I use “male” and “female” as nouns when I’m talking about drow gender, since using “man” and “woman” doesn’t feel right for elves. After all, Tolkien gave us the distinction between “men” and “elves,” and the Elder Scrolls has books with titles like “Of Men and Mer.” I don’t love “male” or “female” as nouns, either — it always makes me think of creepy incel types — but I had to make a choice, and that’s what I chose).

What does canon have to say? Well, luckily or unluckily, canon mostly ignores that trans/enby drow exist. (Or, for that matter, gender non-conforming characters of any sort!) One exception is Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, which gives us the trans male drow Fel’rekt Lafeen, one of Jarlaxle’s lieutenants in Bregan D’aerthe. (Not coincidentally, the main character in “What Do You Hear in These Sounds”!)

“Wait,” I hear you saying, “I played Dragon Heist and I didn’t know Fel’rekt was trans.” Well, of course not, because there’s literally no reason for it to come up, unless you’re like my group and attempted to kiss your way through Jarlaxle’s crew.

(Heck, depending on which villain your DM chooses, you may never even meet Jarlaxle and/or his crew. I think my husband had an almost Jarlaxle-free playthrough).

Given this, it feels like Fel’rekt was a low-stakes way for WotC to appear diverse and progressive. But I’ll still take it, because I appreciate any representation of queer characters, and hey, there’s always fanfic.

In the RAW (rules-as-written) module, Fel’rekt only has about four lines of backstory, and he has already escaped the Underdark and is busy slinging a gun in Waterdeep. So we can’t look to that for any clues as to how his trans-ness interacts with Lolthite drow society.

But that gap is also what made him interesting to me, and what led me to write fanfic about him. When did he know he was trans? What effect did it have on his life and his relationships? What led him to Bregan D’aerthe, and from there to the surface?

But first I had to figure out how trans-ness would be treated in drow society:

So here’s what I decided:

Given how central gender is to the entire faith of Lolth — that it divides drow into “worthy” and “unworthy” — anything that upsets that balance is criminal. Lolthite drow see gender non-conformity as treachery, heresy, og’elendar — opposition to Lolth’s will.

It’s an extreme version of the gender essentialism that many people fall prey to in the real world. And like transphobic folks IRL, most drow would see this as a deliberate choice that is being made for mercenary reasons.

If at this point you’re saying, “nah, I’m out. I already deal with enough transphobia in real life”? I respect that, and you should feel free to bail. Mine is just one interpretation.

In writing about a trans character like Fel’rekt, I tread carefully. If nothing else, I want you, the reader, to know that I care deeply about not being hurtful, and I’m open to feedback on how I do it. But it’s also my job as a writer to create a believable culture in which to place that character, and to raise interesting conflicts and obstacles for them.

… and sadly, it seems most believable to me that in Lolthite drow society, gender nonconformity would be misunderstood at best, and heretical at worst.

Like the aspects we talked about in previous posts, class and assigned gender probably interacts with how trans/enby drow are treated. I imagine trans-ness is punished much more seriously for trans drow females — because how dare they presume?! — but trans males are likely still subject to suspicion and punishment. Either way you cut it, they’re snubbing their nose at how Lolth made them, right? </sarcasm>

At the beginning of “What Do You Hear in These Sounds,” Fel’rekt is already presenting as male in small ways (eg. no longer wearing hairstyles associated with priestesses, and choosing more gender-neutral clothing), and he’s been able to come out to one of his sisters. It’s implied he’s been doing this for some period of time, and the reasons he’s been able to do this probably has to do with class. While being noble, his family is low ranked in Menzoberranzan, so there is — to quote my friend Sarai — “no need for transvestigating your neighbor unless you have something to gain from it.”

But ultimately, Lolth knows all, and Fel’rekt’s coming out as trans was the cause of his house’s disfavor with her — and ultimately their destruction by the house below them. Fel’rekt refers to this as his “gender treachery,” which is a term I borrowed from Margaret Atwood.

Bitterness flooded his mouth. He hadn’t told Scyvtalis the whole of it. How healing power had died in his hands. How the snakes of his cleric’s whip had struck back at him, leaving his arm swollen with venom. How they had then blackened and fell to dust, as if Fel’rekt’s own traitorous blood had blighted them.

It had been the final sign of Lolth’s rage. This attack was mere denouement.

“What Do You Hear In These Sounds,” chapter 1

So yeah, there’s internalized transphobia at play for Fel’rekt, too. It’s the soup he’s been stewing in; it’s The Inherent Trauma of Menzoberranzan™️.

On the upside (maybe?), it’s probably easier for trans drow to pass as the correct gender, since elves in general are fairly androgynous. When he meets Jarlaxle, Jarlaxle doesn’t immediately clock him, and while he can tell something unusual is going on, and that Fel is lying about some things, he’s got this ring of truth telling him that Fel is definitely not lying about his gender.

(Yes, my headcanon is that Jarlaxle’s truth-telling ring is gender affirming, goddammit).

And what of nonbinary and agender folks? Well, since drow are so gender essentialist, they probably aren’t even thinking outside the binary. I’d venture that most enby drow never develop the words to express their true gender. Which creates an interesting cultural exchange in Bright Future, when Jorlan finds himself in a party with a nonbinary changeling character:

Jorlan felt his temple twitch, presaging a headache. “All I know is that I didn’t think about these things until I met you lot.” It was very simple in Menzoberranzan — there were females, who generally valued him somewhere more than a slave and less than a Braeryn dungsweeper, and there were males, who might not be trying to kill him. If anybody like Lux — someone who was neither gender — had existed there, he’d never met them. He suspected it was the kind of thing the Temple of Lolth would call heresy.

But then, most interesting things were.

Bright Future, chapter 22, “Dackbarr”

I mentioned in my last entry, too, that my drow rogue in Dragon Heist ended up in a… situationship with a nonbinary drow, too. That was definitely an adjustment for him, as he struggled with the associations he had with their assigned gender (female), and what would have traditionally been expected of a noble drow male from a highly ranked house in such a relationship. (None of which were good, and might have played a role in him being a 300-year old virgin 🤣 )

All of that said, I expect very few drow actually come out as trans or enby, or even realize that that’s who they are. If the strict binary division of drow society is all you’ve ever known, it’s hard to imagine yourself as something outside of that, right? This doesn’t mean there are fewer gender non-conforming drow — just that most of them are going to be knowingly or unknowingly closeted.

Anyway, that’s my take on gender non-conformity in Lolthite drow society. It’s dark. But I am also open to interpreting it other ways, if you can see a more trans-positive interpretation!


I had planned to talk about drow infravision next time — and I might still do that! — but I’ve realized I need to talk about drow and kink at some point. Because everyone drow relationship is a power imbalance relationship, amirite? Drow fuck, but they probably don’t do it safely or sanely.

Drow headcanon, part 6: sexual orientation

This is part six of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation (you are here)
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Sexual orientation

As a queer weirdo, it bothers how aggressively… straight the drow can be in canon. As we established in the last post, drow fuck, but after tens of thousands of years, they haven’t gotten creative with it?

Let’s look at the canon character of Jarlaxle — a drow male outlaw who runs a powerful mercenary band, and has the matriarchy wrapped around his finger. He is the ur-drow male in my head; the perfect intersection of “god I wish this were me” and “god I wish someone like this would plow me.”

(Being on the ace spectrum myself, whenever I say things like “plow me,” please understand that this is hyperbole).

Jarlaxle also is incredibly flamboyant and queer-coded.

… like, he wears a rainbow cape and belly shirt and surrounds himself with an almost-entirely male mercenary band; come on.

He’s not just queer-coded, either! Several years ago, Jeremy Crawford, lead rules designer for 5e, came out and said, “yes, Jarlaxle is pansexual.” (And fanboys collectively lost their shit… but that’s another story). And as written in Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (by Chris Perkins and Matt Mercer, among others), he flirts with all the PCs equally, and he is accompanied by both male and female consorts. So that’s pretty neat.

And yet, R.A. Salvatore keeps missing the memo, and so this progressiveness is still lacking from the Drizzt novels.

… even when he spends entire books writing about Jarlaxle — as in the Sellswords trilogy, or the flashback sections of the Generations trilogy. (There’s a reason I refer to these trilogies, respectively, as “Jarlaxle and Artemis Chilling In a Hot Tub Three Feet Apart Because They’re Not Gay” and “Jarlaxle and Zaknafein Chilling In a Hot Tub Three Feet Apart Because They’re Not Gay”).

… even when Jarlaxle’s relationships with other male characters are much more interesting and fleshed out than his relationships with female characters.

… even when there are entirely too many sexual innuendos involving swords.

And this is why I haunt the “Jarlaxle Baenre” tag on AO3.

About the only nod to queerness we get, that I’ve seen, is when RAS offhandedly mentions that the character of Malice also bangs women — and that’s only because he wants to vilify her even more by painting her as “slutty.”

(Listen there are many, many things to hate about Malice, but this ain’t it).

Well, Salvatore may ignore it, but my headcanon is: of course there are queer drow.

To me, homo- and bi/pansexuality are fairly common and accepted in drow culture, within the other limiting factors of the society. Female homosexuality is probably even expected, and totally understandable. (Because of course; ew, males). Especially when they’re at the Academy together, where the closest male drow are students of the warrior and wizard schools — all a good deal younger than them, and probably seen as wildly immature.

Of course, a Matron Mother would also be expected to birth daughters, so she’d probably need a sperm donor somewhere along the line. But as long as she’s got that covered, no one cares who she beds.

Male homosexuality, OTOH, is probably less “accepted” and more “ignored.” As I wrote in Bright Future:

“Always she? I am assuming an awful lot about you, aren’t I?”

“You assume correctly, though.” Honestly, it would have been so much easier if he had fancied other men. There was an entire demimonde that catered to that in Menzoberranzan, and for the most part it was beneath the notice of the priestesses. Of course, that would not have been nearly so profitable.

Bright Future, chapter 15, “Siltrin.”

Same thing about homosexuality at the Academy applies — there aren’t a lot of available drow females, so there’s gonna be a lot of more-or-less normalized M/M sex.

I also think that these queer relationships are assumed to be entirely sexual. This is in line with the discussion in my “drow fuck” post, where romance is almost nonexistent in drow society. And when it’s not — if you actually become attached to the person — it’s either weird (if you’re female) or criminal (if you’re male and you get caught).

As an example, I played Kzandr in my drow intrigue game as bi. I wrote this bit in his character history, about his relationship with Kyrnill (his lover from a higher-ranked house) and Ruvyn (the wood elf slave he caught feelings for):

But Kyrnill would not tolerate that. It was one thing for Kzandr to bed a pretty whore in his free time; it was another to bring that whore into his home. It would betray more attachment than he actually had for Ruvyn, and Kzandr must remember he belonged to Kyrnill.

In the events of the game itself, Kyrnill did find out Kzandr had developed actual affection for Ruvyn, and decided to make his life a living hell. It ended… poorly.

Of course, this covers the gendered aspect of attraction, but what about folks who might identify on the asexual spectrum? (Of particular interest to me!) My take on it is: ace folks exist, but in a heavily sexualized culture like the drow’s, they’re gonna have a bad time.

Such was the story of Jhevaeth, my arcane trickster rogue in Dragon Heist, who basically decided that he’d rather get kicked out of wizard school than fuck an instructor. From his backstory:

Of course, like most things in drow society, passing the exams was more a matter of greasing the right palms, with coin or blood or favors — something Jhevaeth had never been good at.

His sisters, in their own wretched way, tried to help. One of their instructors at Arach-Tinilith held some sort of leverage over the Master of Evocation of Sorcere. (Evocation was always Jhevaeth’s weakest area of study). She also happened to be looking for someone to warm her bed. If Jhevaeth just presented himself at the right place at the right hour…

But no. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew the only thing more disposable than a male student at Tier Breche was a male consort. He assured his sisters he would soldier on without their dubious help. 

When the scores were tallied, Jhevaeth came in dead last on the comprehensive exams.

But hey, at least he missed the famous graduation demon orgy.

Later, in game, he actually developed… something?? with an aromantic non-binary drow, and things got a little strange for him. His ace identity is as hard to pin down as mine!

Interestingly, too, a common fanon reading of Drizzt is that he’s demisexual or otherwise ace spectrum! That certainly is consistent with his behavior in the books.

Basically, I see no reason why one’s sexual orientation, qua non, would be a problem in Lolthite drow society. That same society does put limits on the social acceptability of certain pairings for other reasons, however — mostly Because Toxic Matriarchy™️.


Next up, my thoughts on drow gender identity and what it means to be trans or nonbinary in drow society. Unfortunately, it’s a lot darker of an interpretation than this one!

Drow headcanon, part 5: connoisseurs of sensual pleasures

This is part five of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures (you are here)
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures

(CW: spicy)

This is another one that is talked about extensively in canon, starting back in 2e. But I have a few unique twists on it.

First, there’s “sensual” in the original usage of the term — “appealing to the senses.” This means drow like to indulge in things that look, feel, smell, sound, and taste good. We have examples for this in most lore sourcebooks:

Drow like to give and receive massages–long, skilled massages involving scented oils, hot water and steam. This is close to ultimate luxury for them.

Drow of the Underdark (2e)

The ultimate sensuous pleasure in life for a drow is a warm bath followed by a thorough body massage, typically while lying on a contoured couch.

Menzoberranzan: City of Intrigue (4e)

The Bright Future chapter “Siltrin” — the obligatory bathhouse chapter! — features both baths and massages! To pull a quote or two:

When [Jorlan] broke the surface again, he said, “But to answer your original question, why Vizeran has these baths. I suppose you might say we are a people who value… sensual pleasures? Massages with scented oils, silken clothing, jhinrae, and perfumes. Beautiful things of taste and smell and touch.

(“jhinrae”, by the way, is the Drow word for “wine.” I’ll talk about this more in the “etc etc” chapter, because I once did a deep dive into how to make wine out of mushrooms, and now you too must be cursed with this knowledge).

“Oh, so you’re an expert at giving these, too,” [Mavash] joked, but her hands returned to his back. “I wasn’t aware I was being judged by a professional.”

“I had to be,” [Jorlan] said, with a shuddering breath. “It is… a part of courtship, I suppose you’d call it?” He smiled ruefully. “A drow woman likes to test the skill of her lover’s hands before she puts them to more intimate uses.”

“And if one didn’t pass?” she asked.

“Depends on their mood and their motives, doesn’t it?” he answered, with a morbid nostalgia. “Let us say, massage was something I learned to excel at, lest I find out.”

tl;dr: drow are hedonists.

And on that note… let’s move onto what we all really thought this chapter was about.

In other words, “drow fuck.”

This is by no means my headcanon, either! Menzoberranzan: City of Intrigue (a 4e sourcebook) has this to say (under the heading “The Depravity of the Drow,” no less):

Debauchery: Drow are extremely sensual crea­tures with a taste for lechery and the unorthodox. They take and leave lovers with abandon, and their wanton fetes are notorious throughout the Underdark for their licentiousness and depravity.

And in the “no, I’m not making this up; the writers really just are this horny” department, the same sourcebook mentions the infamous graduation demon orgy (which we also see in Homeland):

Among the most perverse fetishes of the dark elves is the ritualized coupling between demons and drow. These acts are typically part of a religious rite performed in Lolth’s honor. In Menzoberranzan, the graduation of students from the Academy is cause for such depraved celebration. On rare occasions, these unholy unions are favored with the conception of a half-demon draegloth.

Also, while there’s a lot of sex going down in Drow society, that doesn’t mean romance. Or, to quote the 3e Drow of the Underdark, “Most of the trappings of love in drow society are better defined as either lust or politics.”

This is reflected in the Drow conlang, where there’s not really a word for “love.” The closest word is “ssinssrigg,” meaning “lust,” “pleasure,” or “greed.”

Jorlan talks about this in the very first chapter of Bright Future:

He closed down the telepathic link before his helpless thoughts betrayed him. How could he explain that the word they used so readily for “love” in Undercommon had no analogue in his native tongue? The closest was ssinssrigg — which also meant “lust” and “greed.”

He supposed he had been greedy. How else should he feel, when everything he’d ever been belonged to Ilvara? He was from one of the most powerful families in Menzoberranzan, but he hadn’t been allowed to meet her gaze until she’d given him permission. He was nothing, less than nothing, without a powerful woman like her propping him up.

Bright Future, chapter 1, “Ssussun”

So far, we’re sticking pretty close to canon. But now, let’s sprinkle on the headcanon seasoning…

If a drow had to talk about “love” instead of “ssinssrigg”, they’d be most likely to use the word “khaless,” or “trust.” Trust is rarer than lust, for sure, in drow society! This may be why so much fanfic has Jarlaxle referring to his partners as “khal’abbil,” or “trusted friend.” (Which I’m not sure he ever actually uses in canon?) This is a bit of fanon that I’ve yoinked for my own work.

Drow tend to be polyamorous, in theory if not in practice. It’s generally only going to be female drow from highly ranked houses who have the luxury of doing so, though. As I suggested in “the law of ‘don’t get caught,'” it’s only inappropriate if you’re caught while being male, and then only at the discretion of the primary female partner.

Marriage doesn’t exist in the noble classes. I reject the canon view that drow practice marriage. It doesn’t make sense to me given how often noble females see their male lovers as disposable, i.e. “you’re my lover until you die or I find someone better.” Marriages are essentially contracts, and in drow society, a contract is simply a promise you intend to break. So why would they bother?

That said, patronage arrangements can be made to improve inter-House relations. A patron is a matron mother’s primary consort, so these would be the equivalent of a political arranged marriage. And I’m sure they are just as inequal and injust as some arranged/political marriages were historically.

Drow don’t understand body modesty. I mean, everyone looks the same in infravision, right, regardless of what clothes they’re wearing? Plus, we’re told in canon that one of the sensual pleasures that drow enjoy is the sight of other drow bodies, and that they put a great deal of effort into perfecting their own.

(This does conflict a bit with what Ed Greenwood has to say in Drow of the Underdark for 2e, but meh, that whole page-long discussion of drow clothing was weird, anyway).

Another thing with infravision? You can pretty much tell when someone is aroused. Takes the “guess” out of “guess” culture, doesn’t it? 🤣

Male drow don’t make advances. But they do flirt, and engage in the same mindgames around sex that drow females do. To quote my version of Jorlan:

He looked towards the corner of the room, avoiding her gaze. “Male drow do not make advances. It’s too dangerous a gamble. If the interest is not returned…” He made a helpless gesture, implying all the terror his society could visit on him. “Flirting is easy; it’s always plausibly deniable. But to be more serious… there is too much to lose.” He put a protective hand across his chest, and closed his eyes. “I fancied it was a game I was good at playing, you see. Signaling receptiveness while veiling it in courtesy, in the language of the temple; making someone believe it was all their doing, that they were seducing me. It was… a dangerous game, I suppose; there was always the risk of being killed for one’s impudence. But that’s an everyday risk, in Menzoberranzan.”

Bright Future, chapter 7, “Khaless”

Male drow are sexualized in the same way women are in our society — that is, there’s an equivalent “female gaze” in drow culture. I imagine there being something like those fanart “sexy male superhero poses.”

There’s a booming business in unsubtle erotica aimed at drow women. This comes up in Bright Future when the party are discussing the fact that Jorlan learned Common from surface romance novels:

I am so sorry if everything you learned about surface culture came from those, Mavash transmitted.

This time he relented a little. Have no fear. I suspected they were about as realistic as drow romance is.

Drow have romantic literature? That was a surprise.

Of a sort? You might call it more… pornography?

Bright Future, chapter “Velve”

Most sex acts are oriented towards female pleasure, and male-focused sex acts are seen as taboo. (I’ll let you draw your own conclusions).

Of course, no group — even fantasy races — are a monolith, so I’ve written and read many exceptions to this. Heck, Jhevaeth — my drow rogue in Dragon Heist — I played as being asexual.

And on that note… next we’ll talk about sexual orientation in drow society. Guest starring: my disgruntlement at how R.A. Salvatore writes Jarlaxle.

Drow headcanon, part 4: chosen ones

This is part four of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones (you are here)
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

Chosen ones

The thing I think a lot of people don’t understand about the drow is how they see themselves as “chosen ones” — those who followed Lolth into the Underdark when she broke with the primary elven god Corellon Larethian.

No matter how lowly and powerless the individual drow, they see themself as lucky to be born drow, because they are free from Corellon’s tyranny.

In their view, every other race is out to get them. Nothing they do is indefensible, because otherwise they will be destroyed. If they ruthlessly cull out the weak, the disabled, the incommodiously male? Well, that’s only to make them strong enough to defeat their enemies and take revenge on the “fairies” (surface elves) who wronged them.

And if at first they don’t believe it? Well, it’s drummed into their head in their school years until they do. Another thing about the drow — they excel at propaganda.

Much of this is canon, to be sure. We see Master Hatch’nett lecturing Drizzt as much in Homeland. We also see Drizzt’s resistance to it. But we never see the inside view of someone who truly believes it.

Here’s how I explored it in the story of Kzandr, my paladin of Lolth in my drow intrigue game. — his “come to Lolth” moment:

In the dream, Kzandr was in a cage made of eight massive bars, gleaming like chitin. No, he corrected himself, they were tremendous spider legs — multi-jointed, skittering against stone as they closed around him.

Another moment, and he realized it was Lolth herself, as depicted in the statue, her embrace a vise grip from which he could not wriggle free.

Except…

He looked outside the cage, and his blood ran cold. Crowded around the cage were monsters out of the storybooks that Aksharu shared with him, in the rare moments when she was in a good mood. Grey-skinned duergar, bristling with rage, growing to twice the size of an adult drow. Cunning svirfneblin with murder in their eyes, shaping stone itself. And worst of all, the fairies, the darthiir, their pale skin a mockery of the drow form, their disdain and their deadly menace palpable.

He knew, too, that underneath some of those forms were other drow, the sort who sought to escape the embrace of the Spider Queen, the heretics who ran to other gods.

But he was safe — inside the chapel, inside this cage. Of all the places he could have been born, it was here, where eight legs separated him from cruelty and treachery. The Spider Queen was protecting her brood, not imprisoning them.

It was the world outside that was the enemy.

A Prison Made of Chitin, chapter 1

Next up: “connoisseurs of sensual pleasures,” a.k.a. “drow fuck.” 🤣

Drow headcanon, part 3: the ultimate in “guess” culture

This is part three of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction. Also worth reading is the post where this all started: “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught”
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture (you are here)
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

The ultimate in “guess” culture

I guess we didn’t all read the famous “ask vs. guess culture” Metafilter thread back in the day and take it to heart? Unfortunately the original post has been lost to time, so when I want to make this point, I usually refer people to this article by Jean Hsu on Substack.

Basically, ask vs. guess culture refers to our how we express (or don’t express) our needs and desires vis a vis other people — whether or not we directly ask for what we want, or we assume we already know what the answer will be.

I feel like Hsu’s summary of “guess culture” perfectly encapsulates how I see drow society working. To quote:

  • Only ask for something if you’re already pretty sure the other person will say yes
  • Read an abundance of indirect contextual cues to determine if your request is reasonable to make
  • It’s rude to put someone in a position where they have to say no to you
  • If the appropriate feelers and context are set, you will never have to make your request at all.

A real world example with my family: my mom always used to complain that her mother-in-law wouldn’t directly ask her to turn up the heat when she was cold. Instead she’d put on a sweater, make shivering motions, and say, “Are you cold?” (Not sure if this is because my grandmother was first-gen Italian? Italy doesn’t strike me a “guess” culture, though).

In my version of drow culture, it’s not just rude to ask a question you don’t already know the answer to, it’s dangerous, because it reveals that you don’t already know.

Or to quote some of my fanfic:

“You don’t suspect he might have hidden motives?” Mavash pushed. “Revenge, or greed, or power?”

“Now you’re thinking like a drow,” Jorlan murmured, crossing his arms. “I’m sure he does. He never has fewer than five or six at a time. But asking will only imply we don’t already know, which is a weakness we can’t possibly show to him.”

Bright Future, chapter 24, “Thalack”

Fel’rekt wanted desperately to pepper Krebbyg with questions as they wandered the hallways of the Bregan D’aerthe headquarters. But to ask was to fail — joros zhah hojh, as the proverb went. He was already off his footing; he didn’t need everyone else knowing just how much.

“What Do You Hear in These Sounds,” chapter 2

Basically, to drow: not knowing is a weakness. When you ask a question, you reveal that weakness.

And weakness in drow society will get you killed.

So overall, there is a tendency for drow to imply rather than state. In the real world, we might call this “being passive-aggressive,” but I argue it serves a different purpose amongst the drow.

First, it provides plausible deniability for any crimes you’re about to commit 🤣. I call this the “let me tell you a story” technique — I stole this, actually, from Dumas’ The Three Musketeers. There’s a moment where Cardinal Richelieu, rather than directly saying to Milady de Winter “hey go to England and murder the Duke of Buckingham,’ tells a story about a time where the course of history was changed by someone important dying at an opportune time. I heard that on my audiobook and was like, “damn, that’s brilliant; gotta use that.” (I use it in my original fiction, too).

I use this a lot in my drow intrigue game, when Nithrys, my wet noodle of an aberrant mind sorcerer gets called upon to occasionally be a charismatic badass. Like, this bit from my (non-narrative) game notes:

Nithrys tells Gromph [Archmage of Menzoberranzan] a “story” he wants Gromph’s “opinion” on, basically implying that we have a link to Faen Tlabbar, are planning to take it over, and would like their backing (in return for our own backing of House Baenre). But without saying anything outright, of course.

We’re not saying to the most powerful male in Menzoberranzan, “hey we’re gonna take over another house; would you back us?” Because that would be illegal, a reason for execution. But we still get the point across 😈

Also, remember how in part 2 I said the law of “don’t get caught” can erase all crime from the “official” narrative? How do the drow talk about this erased history?

Again, very indirectly! In the chapter “Orb’ilythiiri” of Bright Future we have a flashback to a pre-story event where a number of powerful priestesses are discussing what to do with a problem like Jorlan. But of course, they have to do it without directly mentioning a lot of things which Totally Didn’t Happen™️ (some canonical, some not).

“Matron Baenre,” Miz’ri said, “Again, please forgive my daughter. She is young, and easily infatuated. But the fundamental problem, you see, is… he’s not quite a mongrel, is he?”

When Quenthel did not reply, Miz’ri probed, “You know of what I speak. House Duskryn’s experiment.”

The fan made a rhythmic tap-tap-tap against Matron Baenre’s leg. “I know of no such thing, of course,” she said, her voice placid. “But one hears stories. My brother is quite the fanciful storyteller, for example.”

Which one? Jorlan bitterly mused, though he was sure she must mean Gromph, whose rivalry with Vizeran deVir had ultimately erased Jorlan’s sister Si’Nethraa. Her death had expiated House Duskryn’s sin of presumption, and to admit it had happened was to admit wrongdoing.

And yet, if it was likely to save his skin, Jorlan wasn’t going to argue.

“Yes, Matron,” Ilvara said, sounded chastened. “We hear many stories about your brother, too. Surely his magical prowess has brought glory to your house. Would that our lowly house could have done as much, with what we were gifted and have lost.”

Matron Baenre made a well-hidden snort of satisfaction. It didn’t need to be said how House Mizzrym’s magical talent — Ilvara’s older siblings — had devoured themselves, removing a thorn in Quenthel’s side and paving the way for Gromph to become head of Sorcere.

“But,” Ilvara continued, “It’s fickle how magical talent works, though, isn’t it, Matron? How it seems to miss siblings, or doesn’t breed true — and then sometimes, some seventh son will show up with all the magic that skipped a generation! We discard the ungifted at our peril, I believe.”

Oh, that was cleverly worded, and that was Ilvara at her best — when she wasn’t consumed by rage and zealotry, as she had been of late. Even now, it made Jorlan want to kiss that clever mouth.

Matron Baenre halted — both her steps and the tapping of her fan. “I see,” she said, after some deliberation. She sounded sour. “Perhaps we can give your pet a chance to redeem himself, then. Blood will tell, as my mother always said.”

Bright Future, Chapter 17, “Orb’ilythiiri”

(That’s another banger of a chapter, if I do say so myself! And fairly standalone, since it takes place outside the frame story of Bright Future).


That’s it for now! Next time we’ll talk about how drow see themselves as chosen ones.